What questions should I ask my parents before they die?

Ask about their earliest memory, their own parents and grandparents, the hardest year they lived through, what they are proudest of, and what they hope you and your children remember.

Isn't it morbid to ask?

Most parents are relieved to be asked. The questions are about a life, not about dying, and answering them is usually an enjoyable few minutes a week.

What is the easiest way to do this?

Go Family Story emails your parents three questions a week by private link — they answer with a free account, no subscription needed — and keeps every answer, photo and voice recording in one private family archive.

Questions to ask your parents before it's too late

Almost everyone who loses a parent says the same thing: I wish I had asked. These questions are the ones worth asking now, while the answers are still there to be given.

Questions to ask your parents about their own lives

Ask each parent separately. The same question gives two very different answers, and both are worth keeping.

1.What is the earliest thing you can remember clearly?
2.What was the town or city you grew up in like?
3.What has made you cry with happiness?
4.Who was the most important person of your childhood?
5.What were you like at school?
6.What did you want to be?
7.What object of yours should stay in the family, and why?
8.What did your first job teach you?
9.What did you do in your twenties that shaped everything after?
10.What was your biggest risk?
11.What did you do on your birthday as a child?
12.What did you lose along the way?
13.Who did you love first?
14.What did that teach you?
15.What did you cook when you were learning to cook?
16.What has been your happiest stretch of years?
17.What has been your hardest?
18.What got you through it?
19.What is the kindest thing you have done for a stranger?
20.What have you built that you are proud of?
21.What work have you done that nobody sees?
22.What have you been wrong about?
23.What have you thrown away and regretted?
24.What have you changed your mind on?
25.What does a good day look like for you?
26.What do you do when you cannot sleep?
27.What has ageing taught you about your body?
28.What makes you laugh?
29.What makes you angry?
30.What do you find beautiful?
31.What do you think matters at the end?
32.What are you superstitious or particular about?
33.What do you always carry?
34.What food takes you straight back?
35.What did you save up for, coin by coin?
36.What place do you return to in your head?
37.What music has followed you through life?
38.What do you believe about why we are here?
39.Who was your first real friend, and what happened to them?
40.What have you learned about forgiveness?
41.What have you learned about money?
42.What have you learned about friendship?
43.What have you forgiven that you thought you never would?
44.What have you learned about grief?
45.What are you still curious about?

Turn these questions into a gift they'll keep

We send the questions for you. They answer free from their inbox, and every answer, photo and recording is gathered into one private archive — kept on a highly secure database, and downloadable by you at any time.

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Questions to answer about your parents

Write your own answers too, and ask your siblings. Children remember their parents in pieces that only fit together when you put them side by side.

46.When did you first meet them?
47.What was your first impression?
48.What do their home feel like?
49.What do you call them, and why?
50.What do they look like to you?
51.What is their voice like?
52.What is their favourite place?
53.What do they always wear or carry?
54.What do they do first thing in the day?
55.What are they like in the morning?
56.What are they known for outside the family?
57.What are they like late at night?
58.What do they do when they are stressed?
59.What do they do when they are happy?
60.What habit of theirs do you catch yourself repeating?
61.What do they say when they are proud of someone?
62.What have they teach you?
63.What have you taught them?
64.How do they carry it?
65.What do they do for other people?

Collect the answers in one place

Go Family Story sends three of these questions a week by private link. The person answers with a free account, and every answer, photo, video and voice recording is kept in one private archive that only your family can see.

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Common questions

What questions should I ask my parents before they die?: Ask about their earliest memory, their own parents and grandparents, the hardest year they lived through, what they are proudest of, and what they hope you and your children remember.
Isn't it morbid to ask?: Most parents are relieved to be asked. The questions are about a life, not about dying, and answering them is usually an enjoyable few minutes a week.
What is the easiest way to do this?: Go Family Story emails your parents three questions a week by private link — they answer with a free account, no subscription needed — and keeps every answer, photo and voice recording in one private family archive.